Text
messaging has quickly become the most popular mode of non-face-to-face
communication, especially among teenagers and young adults. Because of the popularity of this mode of communication, it is no wonder that texting now plays a large role in romantic relationships. Now, communication does not stop when couples are not physically together; they have the ability to constantly contact their partner at any time of day. Around 83% of Americans in the US now have a mobile phone, and of those, 73% of them use
text messaging. With the speed and ease of sending a text message, phone calls and other forms of communication have been declining in use. Oftentimes, texting is perceived as a less intimate form of communicating than face-to-face communication and talking on the phone,
but research shows that texting can cultivate connectedness and closeness within
romantic relationships.
Daily Communication Fosters Increased Connectedness Within Romantic Relationships
Research shows that daily communication between romantic partners creates more intimacy and interdependence, regardless of the content of the conversations. One study finds that more frequent mobile communication is significantly associated with less
perceived loneliness. Texting provides reassurance to romantic partners of their connectedness and helps
maintain the relationships. In addition, constant interactions among partners
help to reduce relationship uncertainty and there is evidence to suggest that exchanges
over text are just as successful at doing this as face-to-face interactions are.
Texting also provides an easy way for partners to make plans with each other, check in on each other, as well as stay in constant contact. In a survey conducted at the University of Maryland, 84% of participants say that when they are not physically with their partner, texting is their main mode of communication. When asked how they thought their relationship would change without texting, a majority said it would be worse. Fifty percent of participants say they text their significant other two to three times each day, and 25% say they exchange texts hourly.
Texting also provides an easy way for partners to make plans with each other, check in on each other, as well as stay in constant contact. In a survey conducted at the University of Maryland, 84% of participants say that when they are not physically with their partner, texting is their main mode of communication. When asked how they thought their relationship would change without texting, a majority said it would be worse. Fifty percent of participants say they text their significant other two to three times each day, and 25% say they exchange texts hourly.
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Source: Fiona Caretto |
Romantic partners often have a strong desire for constant emotional support and availability, and texting has become the primary resource for this when physical closeness is not available. Texting is also a more private and long-lasting means of technological communication than phone calls, which is why many prefer texting over other ways of communicating.
As With All Methods of Communication, Texting Can Lead to Relationship Distress
While texting may be easier, quicker, and more private than phone calls, text messaging does not improve relationship quality as much as talking on the phone. This is due to phone calls being voice-based and synchronous communication, as well as being able to give more information over the phone than is possible in a single text message.
Knowing one's partner is just a text away can be comforting, but relying
too heavily on text messaging to communicate can result in problems. The survey conducted at UMD found that 78% of participants say that texting has caused stress in their relationship at least once. Messages can be
misinterpreted over text because tone, facial expressions, and other indicators
of meaning are absent over the phone. On the one hand, texting does
enable romantic partners to be in constant communication, but one student
claims all that messaging detracts from face-to-face interactions.
Texting one's partner too much can lead to over-dependence, which decreases relationship satisfaction. Being able to be in perpetual contact with one's partner is great, but what happens when couples get too used to communication over the phone that face-to-face interactions become more difficult and possibly more awkward? That is what another student claims was a result of constantly texting her partner.
A Pew research study found that 54% of all teens text their friends daily, 33% talk on the phone, and 33% talk face-to-face. As people rely more and more on texting, they decrease their use of communicating via phone calls and in person. This has been found to lead to dissatisfaction with the relationship. Communicating solely via technology reduces feelings of closeness, connectedness, and love, and increases misunderstanding and miscommunication. Texting alone does not decrease quality of the relationship, but when it is the overall most used mode of communication, that is when the relationship begins to worsen.
Outcomes Depend on The Reason For Texting
Mixed results are expected, as each individual uses texting for different reasons. In the survey conducted at UMD, the most common reason for someone texting their partner was to make plans, with one third of participants selecting this reason. The next most common reason was to stay in constant contact, with 27% of participants choosing this. Utilizing text messaging simply to make plans does not really improve, besides making coordinating their schedule easier, nor deteriorate the quality of the relationship. A majority of participants (88%) of the survey conducted at UMD say texting makes them closer with their partner.
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Source: Fiona Caretto |
Those who are texting just to stay in constant contact will receive the most negative outcomes. One study found that constant texting can lead to "hyper-coordination," which is the "experience of enhanced, anxiety-provoking relational dependence and engagement through the use of mobile technologies." The expectation of people for their partners to always be instantly reachable through text message can lead to partners feeling pressure and suffocated by their partners.
As the frequency of texting between partners increases, so does their reliance on text messages to be a relationship maintenance tool. This leads to negative outcomes when problems occurring in the relationship cannot be solved over text. A student at UMD claims that texting does not have a strong impact on her relationship because of the quantity of texts her and her partner send per day.
Relationship partners should be careful when texting each other. Too much dependence on text messaging to communicate can result in stress, over-dependence, and eventually relationship dissatisfaction. Moderated texting can foster intimacy and make a couple feel closer to each other, but it should not be the only source of contact. Face-to-face contact is most important, because there is less miscommunication when talking to someone in person. As technology continues to advance, non-face-to-face communication will increase in popularity and relationships will exist as much virtual as in person. Romantic partners need to be wary to the effects of text messaging on relationships.